1. "I spend more on my lover than I do on you."About 15% of married Americans admit they've had an extramarital affair. And not only are married couples cheating, they're spending a lot of their cash on their lovers. According to a survey of more than 140,000 users of AshleyMadison.com, if a hubby's got a mistress, he's likely to spend $125 on her holiday gift compared with just $60 on his wife's. Women are less likely to buy pricey gifts for their lovers, because they tend to be more cautious about leaving behind evidence of their affair.
2. "I have a secret bank account."Fifteen percent of married people or couples with joint finances have a bank account they keep hidden from their partner. For some, the reasons are because they opened the account before they were married and haven't gotten around to closing it yet. Married people sometimes like to keep secret bank accounts in the event of divorce, or to pursue expensive hobbies and other interests. This tends to be more common with men, who may secretly spend on things like gambling or drugs. But women also keep secret stashes of money for things likes gifts for the children, going out with friends and shopping for accessories for themselves and the home. But secret-account holders beware: Most of the time, the spouse finds out, usually by accident — by opening a letter from the bank and the fallout can be serious, including divorce, separation and harassment.
3. "I have an ‘office spouse' I adore."About one in three people has an "office spouse" –- a colleague he or she is close to, but in a platonic way. The relationships are usually completely harmless, especially when people are open about it with their spouses. But other times, it can be the source of jealousy for a partner, especially if he or she thinks the spouse is sharing too much with a co-worker. For women, it may be even worse. A study found that although both sexes experience jealousy over emotional infidelity, women tend to see it as an even worse betrayal than sexual infidelity.
4. "I'm going to pretend I never bought that (or at least lie about what it cost)."More than one in 10 people say they've misrepresented the cost of a purchase to their partner. Usually, the motivation is to avoid conflict, especially if one partner suspects the spouse won't approve of the item or its cost. But the results of lying can be disastrous, emotionally and financially.
5. "I earn more than you think."In a National Endowment for Financial Education/Forbes study, about 10% of married people said they lied to their partner about how much they earned. And younger couples are doing most of the lying: almost 25% of people ages 18 to 34 admit to lying to a spouse about money, while just 3% of adults 55 and older do. Some people lie about their earnings because they like to have a "just-in-case stash of money" that they can use for whatever they want and not have to consult with their spouse about it. Other people are afraid that if the spouse knows about the extra money, he or she will spend it.
6. "I'm happier because I make more money than you."Men who earn more than their spouse report significantly higher career satisfaction than men who earn roughly the same amount as their spouse. A reason for that is that the satisfaction men feel is also from being able to achieve the traditional role of breadwinner. On the flip side, men who don't fit the traditional mold may feel unhappy or act out. A man whose wife is the sole earner is five times more likely to cheat on her than a man whose wife earns about the same as him. Some men don't want to seem like they're in competition with their wives over earnings. And those who earn less don't want to talk about how much less in control they feel knowing they are dependent on their wife.
7. "I hate being the breadwinner."A wife may be open about loving her career, but don't expect her to be as honest about its effects on her happiness at home. In 1960, just 11% of wives were the sole or primary breadwinner, but by 2011, 40% were. And while earning a significant chunk of the family's income gives wives more career satisfaction, it leads to lower family satisfaction. This dissatisfaction has its roots in the guilt women feel when they violate traditional gender roles. Women are likely to feel guilt and shame that they may not have the time or energy to give 100% to family. Many wives don't want to "emasculate" their husband. It's easier to keep going, pretend everything is fine, and that they are strong enough to do it all.
8. "I married you for money."Some men and women say they are comfortable doing a little gold digging. Two out of three women and half of men said they were "very" or "extremely" willing to marry an average-looking person they liked, as long as he or she had money, which on average, they defined as having $1.5 million. As men get older, they're more likely to say they'd marry for money (61% of men in their 40s would, compared with just 41% in their 20s), while women were most likely to make money a primary consideration for a marriage in their 30s. People make money a major factor in their mating decisions for many reasons, including wanting a sense of security or more freedom, or thinking that having money will boost their self-esteem or self-worth. And while it's true that money can trump other flaws, that honeymoon period will end.
9. "I'd rather you cheat on me than lie about money."What would hurt more — a spouse who cheated or one who lied about money? Almost one in four Americans say honesty about money is more important to them than honesty about an affair. And if you're on the open-about-money side, prepare to be disappointed, as almost one in three Americans admit to lying to their spouse about money. Because money is associated with some very personal emotions, a financial betrayal can be devastating. Money is so personal, put their blood, sweat and tears into making it , so lying about money can feel like a complete betrayal of trust.
10. "I blew our savings because the saleswoman was beautiful."You two may be the happiest married couple in the world, but that doesn't mean your husband is immune to the powers of a beautiful woman. Men will buy something expensive from a beautiful saleswoman because this can show that woman that he's successful. He's acting on his fantasy world, and ignoring the consequences. Also, when men are in the presence of a beautiful woman, they get a surge of testosterone and take more risks.